Weddings are a big deal. You only get married once, so it’s something to celebrate! Many people choose to make the most of the occasion with pre-wedding events that help build excitement and to include as many family and friends as possible. Not sure which pre-wedding events are right for you? Not to worry; we’ll talk you through the basics of each party and then you and your fiancé(e) get to decide which appeals to you - it’s OK to skip some, and most people won’t do all of them. Check out these pre-wedding parties:
The engagement party
The engagement party is typically organised within three months of the proposal to celebrate the fact that you two have decided to tie the knot. Having it early is a great way to get both sets of families and friends in the same room with each other, which is especially important if they haven’t had a chance to meet yet. It is also the perfect time to show off your new bling and regale everyone with the proposal story.
Your engagement party can be as formal or informal as you like and is traditionally hosted by the parents of the bridal couple, but can be hosted by you. When it comes to engagement parties, don’t assume that someone will throw you one if it hasn’t been talked about, because some couples skip the engagement party altogether.
If you decide to do a big bash for the engagement party because you want to keep your wedding small, that’s totally fine, but just make your plan clear to guests so that no one will be offended if they don’t receive an invitation to the wedding. On the other hand, your engagement may be just close family and friends while the wedding is where you go all out with the guest list. It’s your call. This pre-wedding event can be as big or small as you like.
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Bridal shower & kitchen teas
It doesn’t really matter what you call it but the bridal shower is usually an elegant event where you can invite close family friends and relatives to an environment that is more PG-rated than many bachelorette parties or hens parties. Many ladies opt for a high tea or luncheon, but you can definitely keep it casual with a bring-and-share or barbecue in the backyard. This is often held in the week before the wedding when friends and family are in town, but some choose to hold it a couple of months earlier to keep the week a bit less busy. Either way, kitchen tea or bridal shower invitations are usually sent out around the same time as wedding invitations.
A bridal shower or kitchen tea is traditionally an event for women only, similar to a baby shower. These days, though, it is becoming a little more common for the bridal shower to include guys (in this case the word ‘bridal’ would be replaced with ‘wedding’) where you can celebrate with all of your friends. Why not?
Both bridal showers and kitchen teas are usually daytime events. Bridal showers originate from Europe and the US and are centred around giving the bride gifts like household items, lingerie or something special that is personal to her. Kitchen teas are part of Australian and New Zealand culture and are typically a ladies-only afternoon tea where the bride receives gifts specifically for her home. This may not be practical if a couple has already been living together, so then general gifts or a wishing well to help pay for the honeymoon can be helpful (this would usually be called a bridal shower, not kitchen tea). If you would prefer no gifts, you could ask each lady to contribute a tried and true recipe to a homemade recipe book that you can compile after the event. Guests usually end up spending a fair bit of cash around wedding time, so a personalised thank-you note for each gift at the wedding shower is a must.
Bachelor/Bachelorette vs. Bucks/Hens Parties
Similar to the whole bridal shower vs. kitchen tea confusion above, bachelor (US) vs. bucks (Australia and NZ) and bachelorette vs. hens is just different way to refer to the same events. The real question is: what is a bucks party or hens party? A bucks/hens are two parties held a few days or weeks prior to the wedding: the bachelor/bucks party is for men, and the bachelorette/hens is for women. It’s also increasingly popular to combine the two into one co-ed event.
Historically (and according to most movies) this event is a wild night out on the town for one last crazy bash before settling down to married life. These days, however, it is common for couples to steer clear of the sleazy nighttime rituals and opt for something a little more tame.
Ideas for a tasteful bachelorette party:
Make your own cocktail class
Glamping weekend
Tapas at a wine bar
Scavenger hunt
Spa dayBachelor party:
Poker night/casino theme
Sport game
Brewery tour/pub crawl
All-day golf followed by beers at the club
Paintball
Bridesmaids Lunch
The bridesmaids' luncheon is a lesser-known but worthwhile tradition where the bride hosts a meal to thank her bridesmaids for all their hard work during the wedding season. Let’s be honest, saying yes to the role of bridesmaid is a big commitment and we don’t want these loved ones feeling under-appreciated.
A bridesmaids luncheon doesn’t have to be as formal as it sounds. You could host a barbecue at your home, or shout them all dinner or brunch on a day when you are all gathered for wedding-related planning or activities anyway (like shopping for bridesmaids dresses). Make sure you do it in a setting that is not too crowded, where you are able to hold a proper conversation and able to express your gratitude towards your wedding party members. This event is also the perfect time to give your bridesmaids their thank-you gifts (a beautiful and personalised handwritten card to each is also a great idea).
Rehearsal Dinner
The rehearsal dinner varies depending on when you choose to hold it, your budget, how many out-of-towners you have coming in and what your family’s expectations are. It should involve the bridal party, immediate families and partners, as well as anyone involved in the ceremony and any wedding guests who have travelled far to attend the wedding. It can be as formal or casual as you want. If you are running low on funds so close to the wedding you can host it as a backyard barbecue, a potluck dinner, or casually tell people that you’re going to a restaurant for dinner after the rehearsal so that people will understand that everyone pays for themselves.
The rehearsal dinner is the perfect opportunity for key guests to get to know each other and get comfortable before the big day. This wedding rehearsal dinner is also often used to share fond memories of the bride and groom. If a rehearsal dinner (yet another pre-wedding party) seems too stressful for you and your fiancé(e), it’s perfectly okay to skip rehearsal dinners altogether.
In summary
All pre-wedding celebrations vary in their purpose and etiquette - which ones you choose to celebrate is completely up to you. Remember, a wedding is a joyous time to celebrate your love so you should do what makes you happy.
This was a guest post by Lil Williams from Paperlust.
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Whether it’s a bridal shower, kitchen tea, rehearsal dinner, welcome party, wedding ceremony, bachelor and bachelorette party, hens night or bucks night - you will have a wide range of venue locations, sizes and pricing to choose from. Your dream wedding venue is just a few clicks away! Wedding planning just got easier!
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